Monday, 30 January 2012

Nick does a speech

Following from that last post, I thought I would post up my speech, mainly so I can refer to it in years to come:

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen.
Start by saying ta to G&J on behalf of bridesmaids and usher for making us part of special day
Sure you’ll agree, lovely ceremony & great venue for tonights celebrations
Looks like we all made it here, glad because put wayne in charge of the directions here
When G asked me, v honoured, agreed immediately
Didn’t know what was involved in BM duties, so turned to Google.
Top of first list was ‘make the groom look good’
Blimey, tall order i thought
Fortunately J is much better than i ever could be at making Gav look good, and she’s done a fine job again today.
For those that don’t know me, I’m Nick
Known G for 16yrs, and J almost as long
Met on sqn, and Gav and I actually joined together in Oct 95 and worked way thru ranks to be CWO together, alongside many faces around the room
Nice to see so many of old crew here today
Tight group of friends
Several years tradition was to earn money at Saturday jobs before heading out on the town in the evening – actually the Hope in Ilford, a grotty little nightclub.  I guess to try our luck with the ladies
J need not worry – wholly and completely unsuccessful
Hindsight obvious why
Didn’t mention what these Saturday jobs were – G at tescos cafe, me on a milk round
So actually went out stinking of deep fat fryers and gone off milk
We then always went back to Gavs, via kebab of course, and proceeded to drink all of his father’s Sambuca.  Not sure if Ray was really oblivious as we believed or just turned bind eye.
Gav always obsessed with the FLAMMING sambuca, had to be FLAMMING, and one night failed to notice he had poured it over his had – i watched as flames spread across his hand and pain across his face as he desperately tried to keep our secret by reaching the table – for a burnt patch on carpet would give the game away.
As cadets we’d spend a lot of time in the mountains, and we did Gold DofE exped in Lake District together.  After running out of food on day two of four, we, being teenagers, decided to take short cut.  Off a cliff.
Which we slid down on our butts.
Gav was behind me when i first heard the screaming.  As he careered out of control, i did the only sensible thing i could do, and step to the side.  He came to a halt a couple of hundred feet below us and after several moments, groaned.
So that, along with the infamous cutlery incident, meant i was quite surprised when he asked me to be his best man
On the same expedition, gav came to find himself with a shortage of cutlery – and instead of choosing to believe he lost it and that i kindly lent him some of mine, he chose to believe i stole it so i could eat more food than him, and cruelly only lent him a knife to eat noodles with.  I mention this cos he still hasn’t let it go, and will bring it up when he is my best man.
But he has asked me to be his best man, so he must have forgiven me at some level – and gav has always been the kind and forgiving type.
Infact only two recollections of him ever getting really angry
First – while skiing, the group had to return to the apartment for some reason, leaving me, matt and gav waiting at the lifts.  They returned to find a furious Gav as me and Matt had been in a 45min fit of hysterics aimed at Gavs now oozing sun burnt nose.
The second was when a poor chap was on the end of a five min tirade for having Golden Balls written on back of his England top because, according  to Gav, ‘he aint David Beckham!’
not list of cadet anecdotes asked wayne
‘I seem to remember farting on Gavin’s head quite a bit when he was still little enough to be pinned down’
‘incessant bogey wiper’ – stalactites, blamed Donna
 Last comment from Wayne was that his present buying skills left a lot to be desired – he once gave his father broken pencil stuck back together with plasticine.  Safe to say Jane has trained him out of that though
cancer - don't remember much
missed some school, but mostly down the sqn - no fuss at all
matt - ‘he was a pretty big boy about the whole cancer thing’
despite setback, fantastic career, now fantastic wife in Jane
matts comment says a lot about Gav in general
he is my best friend, and the best man i know. 
I have always been able to count on him, as i know Jane has
I look forward to being part of their life as they enter this new chapter and wish them many many happy years together
So on that note, propose toast Mr and Mrs Hayes

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